J-LO DROPPED BY HER RECORD LABEL
In the least surprising news of the year it was revealed this week that Jennifer Lopez has parted ways from her record label Sony Music. According to Jennifer:
‘I have belonged to the Sony family since the beginning of my career as a singer and together we’ve had great success.
‘I have fulfilled my contractual responsibilities with Sony/Epic up to this point, and we have both reached friendly terms about my departure from the label.’
Translation: her last two singles Louboutins and Fresh out tha Oven bombed so badly that she’s been told to pack up her sh*t and head for the hills!
She goes on to say:
‘I’m also happy to say that we’ve found a new home for my album Love? and that it is slated for release in the summer of 2010.’
And what a lovely new home it is!
It was nice knowing you Jennifer! Do let us know when your Vegas residency kicks off…
JENNIFER LOPEZ AT THE SAN REMO FESTIVAL
J-Lo’s midlife crisis continued this week as she painted on yet another catsuit.
The diva is set to turn 40 later this year and clearly thinks she has something to prove, showing up to the San Remo music festival in Italy in an outfit skinny girls half her age would run screaming from. Admittedly this reinforced leather number may hold her in far better than the horrendous silky one she wore for her New Year’s gig in New York and subsequent Superbowl gig in Miami, but there comes time in every woman’s life where she has to admit she’s a married mother of two and not an East-side drag queen.
Yours has come, Jennifer!
J-LO’S HORRIFIC CATSUIT GETS A SECOND AIRING
We more or less let you away with this HORRENDOUS catsuit when you wore it for your New Year’s Eve gig in Times Square – shame on us.
But – pouring your fat ass into it AGAIN for last night’s Superbowl Party – SHAME ON YOU!!!
The A-list onlookers at last night’s event in Miami, including Jessica Alba and Chace Crawford, must have been aghast at seeing the former fashion icon strut her stuff in this outfit, which even a 19 year old supermodel would have struggled to pull off. This soon-to-be-40 mother of two had no chance.
We can only assume she’s lost her mind. Regardless, we won’t forgive the same mistake twice so time for her to ‘throw on those Louboutins’ and march straight into the B list!
Ps. J-Lo – next time you don a skin-tight catsuit, ask your vagina nicely not to start chewing on it.
J-LO’S NYE PERFORMANCE IN TIMES SQUARE
J-Lo’s mid-life crisis hit a new peak this week as she appeared on stage in Times Square, New York, wearing a diamante-studded lycra catsuit.
The singer performed her greatest hits (both of them) plus new single Louboutins to celebrate the start of 2010.
While we do have to admit she’s in great shape, skin-tight catsuits are never a great idea beyond the age of 19 and certainly never appropriate attire for a 40 year old mother of two. In this instance the result is somewhere between a Teletubby and a bad drag queen.
As ever J-Lo made sure her mammoth ass was the star of the show and shook it for the cameras at every opportunity. Judging from the video below this was a clever ploy to distract from her shockingly bad lip-synching.
Check out her performance above.
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DOES THE J-LO SEX TAPE REALLY EXIST?
She may be strapping on her Louboutins in her new music video but we might be seeing Jennifer Lopez taking everything off in another new release – the sex tape she allegedly made with ex-husband and sleaze-bag Ojani Noa. Despite her taking legal action to prevent the release a judge has ruled that the videos Noa has in his possession must be submitted to the court next week, at which point they’ll be on public record and potentially available for the media and public to see.
The tapes Noa has are also said to include one showing an “ugly argument” between Jennifer and her mother.
We look forward to seeing whatever appears!
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J-LO’s COMEBACK PERFORMANCE
Ignore any negative comments in our review of J-Lo’s new video, we’re well and truly back on board with her following a spectacular performance at the AMA’s. Jenny went back to her Bronx routes for a the boxing themed extravaganza, which was awash with hot dancers and high energy dance routines. Watching this it’s hard to believe that the Latino superstar turned 40 in July.
Much as we enjoyed the performance, one of the things that makes us laugh most is watching mega-stars fall over on stage and so we were utterly delighted to see J-Lo collapse while attempting a risky dance maneuver (see it at the 3m mark above). But, like a seasoned professional, she bounced back instantly (helped by cushioning from her ample derrière) with only those paying very close attention realising that she’d just landed flat on her ass in front of millions of people.
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J-LO’s NEW VIDEO
We’re having very mixed feelings about the video for J-Lo’s new song Fresh out the Oven ft. Pitbull. “Fresh” isn’t the first word that springs to mind when we think about the 39 year old mother of two. We’re also not sure how her twins Max and Emme will feel about their mother getting dressed up like a Hollywood Blvd hooker and grinding her wares for all to see.
That said, she looks like she’s in fantastic shape and the song is reasonably catchy after a few listens. If she plays this one the right way, say for example with a blinding performance at the American Music Awards or the X Factor, then we just might get on board…
What is extremely weird about this one is that we’re hearing from her management that this is not in fact J-Lo, but instead her alter ego “Lola”. Yawn. The Beyonce / Sasha Fierce thing was fun in the beginning but is getting increasingly annoying. We certainly don’t need more of the same from J-Lo…
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J-HO’!
J-Lo and Noa at the 1997 premiere of "Anaconda"
Considering that J-Lo has had trouble keeping hold of her men over the years we never took her to be much in the bedroom. But today she has filed a $10 million lawsuit against ex-husband Ojani Noa, whom she claims is violating a 2004 confidentiality agreement by shopping around a sexy honeymoon video the two made in 1997. The imaginatively titled “How I married Jennifer Lopez: The J.Lo and Ojani Noa story” reportedly includes scenes in which a scantily clad J-Lo is being spanked by Noa. Kinky!
If she was willing to do that just to please this sleazy waiter then we’d love to know how far she went for Puffy!
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ATTENTION SEEKER
Paula Abdul was her usual inappropriate self on Tuesday at the LA premiere of the Michael Jackson docu-movie, This Is IT, appearing on the red carpet with far more cleavage on display than is ever suitable for a woman in her late 40’s. Particularly unsuitable in this case given that the event in question was in remembrance of the recently deceased King of Pop.
We do have to compliment an unusually restrained J-Lo, who looked stunning in a much more appropriate black dress. Take note Paula!
