ASHLEY COLE DOES THE DIRTY ON CHERYL
Sounds like Cheryl Cole had better start checking the small print in that contract she signed to be Ashley Cole’s beard wife.
The Chelsea player has been up to his old tricks again, this time allegedly sending naked pictures of himself to topless model Sonia Wild. Sonia is also claiming that he offered to fly her first class to the US to meet up with him for a secret tryst, and that he’s been calling her since June 2009 after being introduced via MySpace by a mutual friend, party-planner Jay Wynters.
We have to wonder why Ashley has been pestering this trashy mother of two when he’s had the lovely Mrs Cole to go home to every evening – was sex not part of the deal?
 is for Charity.png "‘C’ (list) is for Charity")
SIMON COWELL’S HAITI SINGLE FAILS TO DELIVER
We were very excited when we first heard that Simon Cowell was putting together a group of the world’s biggest stars to record a charity single for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. A little less so when we saw the final roundup, which appears to be positively C list.
We were thinking Madonna, Britney, Justin, maybe Springsteen. Instead we get Robbie Williams, Kylie, Susan Boyle, Leona and Cheryl Cole. Admittedly international stars like Mariah Carey and Bon Jovi have appeared on the record, but given their recent poor selling albums it can’t have taken much to get them on board.
We were most shocked by the inclusion of Cheryl Cole. While the death of 100,000 Haitians may strike her as a great promotional opportunity from which to launch her US career, we feel that the project would have better served its objectives (i.e. raised the maximum amount of cash for the earthquake victims) had it involved truly global stars. Will the lucrative US audience really respond to a record featuring so many acts they’ve never heard of?
Showbiz legends Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand seems to have recognised this failure and, to ensure the people of Haiti don’t suffer as a result, have teamed with some WORLD famous stars including Kanye West, Miley Cyrus and Nicole Scherzinger to record a new version of We Are the World – 25 years since it was originally recorded to raise money for African aid.
Let’s hope it goes down a storm and raises the sort of cash the Cowell record is incapable of achieving.
CHERYL COLE TALKS SEX
Cheryl Cole has revealed this week that she had underage sex and lost her virginity at age 15 – but is proud that she made her boyfriend wait 3 months before putting out. In her words:
“I was 15 when I lost my virginity, but I made my boyfriend wait three months, so I am really proud of myself for that.”
And proud you should be Cheryl, making him wait 3 whole months. Such restraint from a 15 year old! That’s like, 90 whole days.
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CHERYL COLE’S NEW VIDEO
We’re quite liking the new song and video from Cheryl Cole, although we’re not sure about the odd hair styles or the blue skin look towards the end (borrowed from band-mate Nicola?). But overall a good effort and she’s starting to look believable as a pop-star, which isn’t bad after only 8 years practice.
The song is very good but not great, sort of like an album track from Madonna’s Confessions on a Dancefloor. Cheryl has a massive fan-base at the moment and we’re sure it will do well, but it’s no Fight for this Love.
Not sure that the split screen effect was part of the original video plot though – looks to us like Will.I.Am couldn’t be bothered showing up for the shoot at the same time as Cheryl!
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GHASTLIEST DRESS OF THE YEAR MAKES SECOND APPEARANCE
We have to admit it looks FAR better on Beyonce, particularly as she left off the horrendous fur collar that Cheryl tried to glam it up with. It also helped that Beyonce fills the dress whereas Cheryl looked like a drowned rat.
See our reaction to Cheryl wearing the dress here.
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CHERYL’S FROCKY HORROR SHOW
Was Cheryl Cole sniffing glue before last night’s X Factor? Either that or she got dressed in the dark, what an absolute DISASTER of an outfit. This woman reportedly spends $300,000 a year on fashion and styling, so how on Earth did she end up in this!?
Dear Cheryl – GET A STYLIST!
CHERYL TRIES (AND FAILS) TO OUTWIT THOSE PESKY PAPARAZZI
It has been reported that Cheryl Cole sought planning permission to build an underground swimming pool and gym complex at her $6m home in Surrey to prevent her and footballer hubby Ashley being photographed in “intimate episodes” by paparazzi flying aircraft overhead. While we have to give Cheryl credit for remarkably high sales of her debut single (which has unbelievably sold 210,000 copies in just 4 days), we would like to remind her that they are “Cheryl and Ashley Cole” and not quite the Jolie-Pitts. While a picture of her in a bikini would probably be of moderate interest to the UK paparazzi, we doubt that they are about to start launching aircraft to get the shot!
CHERYL ON COURSE FOR THE FASTEST SELLING SINGLE OF THE YEAR
As predicted by us after her MUCH better than expected X Factor performance, Cheryl Cole is set to storm in at number 1 in the UK charts this week with her debut single “Fight for this Love”. We’re hearing that her first day’s sales figures are absolutely massive and the prediction is that she’ll sell over 200,000 units by the end of the week. While Alexandra Burke achieved the fastest selling single of 2009 last week with “Bad Boys”, she didn’t quite break the 200,000 mark and so it’s looking very likely that Cheryl will snatch this honor from her.
We’re sure Alexandra will be tearing her hair out in a fit of rage delighted for her friend and mentor!
CHERYL COLE
TOY SOLDIER
Sure Fire Number 1
We’re rarely wrong at RumerMills, but when we are then we’re happy to admit it. Cheryl Cole’s performance on X Factor this week was outstanding and will surely send the single rocketing to number 1 in the UK this week. May we be the first to say congratulations Cheryl!
CTC doing her best Michael Jackson impression as she stepped out in London yesterday. We can’t wait for her performance on the X Factor and hope that the public outcry will shame her into singing live – potentially the most entertaining moment of the year (but for all the wrong reasons). It’s not that we’re implying she’s tone deaf… have a listen to this blast from the past and judge for yourself. A perfect demonstration of her complete inability to sing or dance pure raw talent.
Too funny!
